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Billy Connolly was in a restaurant with his daughter Daisy the other night.
It was the sort of Australian steakhouse that serves deep-fried onions cut in two to look like
flowers.
Daisy, 33, who has learning difficulties so continues to live with Billy and
his wife Pamela Stephenson, loves the restaurant.
Billy doesn’t.
‘It’s terrible. I have to sit there and pretend I’m enjoying myself,’ he says with
a merriment about his face that suggests he doesn’t have to pretend
too hard.
Billy Connolly’s comedic legacy will be celebrated in a new
programme Billy Connolly & Me: A Celebration
Billy adores his five grown-up children. So much so, you sense he’d pluck every hair
from his distinctive lion’s mane of flowing locks to see them happy.
‘So I’m sitting there and I got a pain in my left side,’ he says.
‘I thought, “I’m not going to be able to get up from here and Daisy can’t help me.” So I was working out a
way to say to the waiter, “Excuse me, can you help me out of the seat?” I
was concerned. It was a thing that had never arisen in my life before.
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‘It was just one of those moments. In the end I found the table
was fixed to the floor so I could use it to pull on. But it was a question I’d
never asked before. I was wondering what kind of words I should put it in. “Should I tell him I’ve got Parkinson’s or will I just ask him to help me?”‘
Billy was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, a progressive neurological
disorder that affects the nervous system, three-and-a-half years ago.
Last year, when we met in New York to mark a National Television Awards Special Recognition Award for his 50 brilliant years in comedy, film, music and TV, the effects of this
cruel disease were barely noticeable.
Billy and his wife Pamela Stephenson grace the cover of this
week’s weekend magazine
Today his left side shakes uncontrollably. Pamela has come with him to
the hotel in which we meet, which is a few
blocks from their home in Florida where they moved four months ago.
We’re here to discuss this week’s ITV special, Billy Connolly & Me, to mark those five decades entertaining us.
The one-hour show features classic clips through the
years: Billy bursting onto the stage in Glasgow in the black leotard and the big banana boots that led to his
showbusiness break in 1975, Billy dancing naked around the
statue of Eros in Trafalgar Square for Comic Relief, Billy on a boat, a bike and
a bungee rope for his TV travelogues. Billy dazzling.
Electrifying. Full of vim.
The change has been swift. A week ago, he explains, he was put on some medication that’s ‘shaken me
up a bit.
This is actually the first medication I’ve been on. The specialist here in America kept me off it
until I got to a certain point and then she put me on it.
There’s a whole lot of shaking going on. It’s kind of weird,
this instability. The only time it stops is when I’m in bed and then I can’t roll over.’ He
pauses. Laughs. ‘I’m like a big log.’
Billy’s humour is a ridiculously contagious thing that’s kept
many of us laughing for most of our lives. He loves being
funny. As a wee boy he’d sit in puddles to make
people laugh. He’s now 74 but still likes nothing more than to plonk his bottom in the funny stuff of life.
‘I bought my kids a book at Christmas, The F***
It List: All The Things You Can Skip Before You Die,’ he says.
‘It’s the things you have on your bucket list but have
no intention of doing, like skydiving. I always wanted to skydive because I parachuted, but
I’m not going to do it now.
Billy and Pamela (pictured in 1990) met on the set of Not The Nine O’Clock News in 1979 and
married ten years later
‘A sense of humour is absolutely essential. It’s the only thing that gets you through.
Sometimes I get kind of dark about it. It’s because it’s forever,
you know. It’s not like having pneumonia and you’re going to
get better. You’re not going to get any better.
A Russian doctor said, “It’s incurable.” I said, “Hey, try, we have yet to find a cure.” Incurable is so static and terrible.
There’s no escape.
‘It’s the first thing I think about in the morning because
getting out of bed is quite hard. It’s a weird thing
because it stopped me playing the banjo and it stopped me smoking cigars.
‘It seems to creep up on everything I like and take it away from me.
It’s like being tested, “Cope with that, cope with life without your banjo. Now I’m going to make your hand shake so you can’t tie your fishing flies any more.”‘
In his darker moments does he ever think there’s a stage at
which he’d decide enough is enough as his old
friend Robin Williams, who also suffered with Parkinson’s, did three years ago?
Billy was deeply upset by his suicide. Robin was ‘a pal’ whom
he loved dearly.
Billy in his standup show ‘An Audience with Billy Connolly’ where he
entertained a host of celebrity fans
‘Asking waiters to help you out from the table is one of those stages,’ he says with an honesty that defines
this brilliant man. ‘It’s like saying to your wife, “Could you help me up from the chair?”‘ Which he’s done
upon discovering a chair is too low for him when he
arrives.
‘It’s weird. I’m trying to stay on the light side because
the dark side is unthinkable.’ Does he ever get angry?
‘Aye,’ he says. ‘I apologised to Pam yesterday.
I said, “I’ve been a bit gruff.” She said, “Oh, you’re OK.”
I just get fed up.’
Pamela and Billy met on the set of Not The Nine O’Clock News in 1979 and married ten years later.
She’s now an eminent clinical psychologist and bestselling
author, but mostly, I suspect, she worries about Billy.
She stopped him ‘going down with the ship’ with his heavy drinking when they first
fell in love and would move heaven and earth to be able to do
so now.
So much so that last year she decided they should leave
their home of ten years in New York for a warmer climate in Florida.
He likes nothing more than to spend his days ‘on the boat fishing’
or drawing.
‘This one doesn’t shake,’ he says, holding
up his right hand. ‘So I can draw. I’ve had exhibitions.
The other day I drew a half man, half frog. It’s lovely here, it makes me feel
good, plus when we moved it was winter in New York and I didn’t want to be sliding all over the sidewalk.
I’m not very good with balance. I walk like a drunk man. You have to take
that all into consideration. Pamela arranged it.’
Right now Pamela is off fetching him some tea and honey.
This morning she brought him breakfast in bed.
‘I’d already got up so I had to get back into
bed, so I had to get out twice just to be nice.’ He laughs fit to burst.
Again, it’s contagious. You just can’t help yourself around Billy.
Then he stops. Pauses. Reflects for a moment.
Billy receiving his CBE in 2003
‘It’s kind of drawn us together,’ he says. ‘I’m really dependent on her, you know physically, whereas I used to
be the strong guy. Which is kind of pleasant. It’s a pleasant thing to lose the strong
guy. You don’t need it. So it’s nicer.’
In the past, time spent apart seemed to be the glue that held the two
of them together. Billy has always been something of an island – a man who
likes to be alone. ‘I don’t really belong anywhere,’ he says.
‘I get along just fine on my own. Even in a crowd I sort
of find myself standing quiet, alone, observing. I don’t like people I know next to me in the dressing room before I go on stage.
‘My mind is away somewhere else. So I’d ask Pamela
not to come. She never understood it. She always
thinks it’s because of the groupies – she calls
them floozies. She’s off her head. It’s nonsense.
I don’t floozie.’ Did you ever? His eyes light up
like a paparazzi flashbulb.
‘That’s one of the great side dishes of showbusiness,’ he says.
‘To deny you enjoyed it would be a sin. It’s like saying you
feel nothing for your old girlfriends. I love them all.
I think very fondly of them all and I think of them
often.’
Hang on, Billy. Rewind. Were there lots of floozies?
‘Millions,’ he says. ‘It was lovely, smashing. Men lie to themselves with consummate ease.
They just say, “Oh, it doesn’t matter. It’s not the same thing.” I always remember the floozies as great fun. Although
I was drunk most of the time so I don’t think I was a great lover.’
The floozies stopped when he met Pamela. ‘She’s the real thing,’ he says.
‘It was good for me in so many ways. It was time to change what I was or go down with the ship and
she helped me by spotting I was in trouble. I didn’t think I was
at all.
‘What it did was drag me into the new world by having children again [Billy had two, Jamie and Cara, from his first marriage to Iris Pressagh and three, Scarlett, Amy and Daisy, with Pamela] and
having to face it. So I had to stop doing everything in order to have the energy to cope with these kids, and it turned out to be the best
thing that ever happened to me.’
Billy, born the youngest of two children in a tenement in Glasgow,
was four years old when his mother Mary upped and left the family home.
He and his sister Florence were bullied by two
aunts who raised them and, when his father
William returned from serving in the RAF in Burma, Billy
was physically and sexually abused by him too. Such is Billy’s way of
looking at life, he’s never really wallowed in self-pity.
Starring alongside Judi Dench in side Mrs Brown, Billy says that the actress
helped him relax over his success
‘There’s no need to be bitter about anything because
there are great examples all around you,’ he says.
‘I always remember going to my friends’ houses and how different the atmosphere was there.
So there was always hope… in the distance.’
Again he stops and thinks. ‘This Buddhist thing [Billy, who was raised a Catholic, explored Buddhism after meeting Pamela], this living in the moment
is very good for that. This is all there is.
The past doesn’t exist. You have to make it exist by thinking about
it. Moments are all created.’
These moments have, by any measure, been pretty extraordinary
even for a man gifted with an imagination as huge as Billy’s.
Take, for example, the ‘pals’ he’s made along the way:
legends such as Eric Clapton, Sir Elton John and Eric Idle, Prince Charles, Princess Anne, the Duchess of York.
‘Prince Charles is a nice bloke. He’s got a soul,’ he says.
‘Most of the royals I’ve met have been really nice.
I like toffs. It’s like meeting PG Wodehouse.
‘There was a doctor I knew in London who was a real toff.
He and I were having a cup of tea with friends and someone was saying something about the
working class or trade unions. The doctor said, “Don’t say that in front of Billy. He’ll box our ears and call us clots.” I
was helpless.’ Billy slips into a posh accent. ‘You clot.’ His eyes are wet with tears of laughter.
Billy says that a sense of humour is vital to get you through the darker times
‘I remember Fergie’s two girls Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice were
in our house in Los Angeles where we lived before moving to
New York. They were with my girls playing in the dressing-up box.
They both came into the room and said, “Look, we’re Princesses.”‘ He rolls his eyes in humour.
‘When I was working as a welder [Billy worked as an apprentice welder before taking up the banjo] I knew I was going to be something.
I just didn’t know what it was, but I fancied being a somebody.
I remember sitting on the propeller shaft looking up the Clyde and designing
my album sleeve. I didn’t even play the banjo then but I was
designing it in my head.’
When Billy decided upon the banjo instead of welding at the age of 23 his grandmother, one of the few
people who showed him love in his childhood, told him his head was ‘full
of daberties’. ‘Daberties were sort of stick-on tattoos that you licked and dabbed
on your hand. It was the most Scottish thing I’ve ever heard.
A daberty is nothing, so she meant my head was full
of nonsense, which of course it is.’
As ITV’s Billy Connolly & Me shows, it’s a nonsense that has brought joy to many from stars
such as Dame Judi Dench, David Tennant, and
Andy Murray to numerous everyday fans in the street.
His career, as he says, went ‘whoosh’ in 1975 when he told a bawdy joke
on BBC’s Parkinson chat show about a man who murdered his wife and buried her bottom-up so he’d
have somewhere to park his bike.
‘That was an incredible moment of my life,’
he says. ‘I knew when I did the show it was amazing.
I got to Heathrow the following morning to go back to Scotland and a Chinese guy
actually asked me for my autograph. I thought, “Holy s***”.
Then I got to Glasgow and everyone was clapping.
Can you imagine? It was like a James Stewart film. I liked
the fame. You’re a somebody. Loved.’
Billy is loved the world over. As interviews with fans on his ITV special show,
they know him everywhere from his native Glasgow to Timbuktu.
But it’s his enduring humility that makes him loved. Does he ever make ridiculous demands?
‘That’s a terrible trap to fall into,’ he says.
‘Apparently Elton does it.’ He says this fondly. Elton is,
of course, a dear pal. His eyes sparkle with humour as he warms to his theme.
‘He gets white roses with all the sharp bits, the thorns,
taken off. The American rock band Three Dog Night requested wheelchairs before a
gig because they were going to be so stoned when they arrived.
‘Harvey Goldsmith, the rock concert promoter, was going to
do a book of all the demands made by famous people because he saw all
the contracts, but nobody would give him permission. He’s a smashing guy.
He’s my Jewish brother. I like him.’
His eyes soften. ‘Aye, fame’s great but if you’re not careful you forget what your aim is in life
because you’re under such tremendous pressure. When I was about 40 I did this deal with
myself. I wrote down the things I wanted on a card and stuck it in my wallet.
‘Things like where you would like to live, how you would like
to live, what you would like to have. You have to
give it a good deal of thought before you write it down and then you leave
it sticking up so you can see it when you open your wallet.
You don’t read it but it’s there poking you in the forehead.
Remember, remember.’
He says he began ‘to relax a bit more’ after the success of Mrs Brown, the Oscar-nominated film about Queen Victoria’s relationship with her Scottish
servant in which he co-starred with Dame Judi Dench.
‘It was Judi Dench who sort of showed me.
It was a lovely moment. We were doing the eight-some reel.
She was opposite me in the circle and she was looking at
me. I thought, “F***, she fancies me. What am I going to do? Judi Dench fancies me.” Then the penny dropped.
She was acting. She was just being that person.
You have to give your own self and I did it after that.’ He pauses.
‘Where was I?’ Billy is beginning to tire.
He thinks. Continues. ‘I was looking at the card three weeks ago.
Everything worked, so things have worked out pretty well.
It happens because of the effort you put into
your work. It pays off.
‘Aye, moments are all created. They don’t just happen. I always like it when I walk on stage and they laugh when I say hello.’
Will he walk on stage again? ‘Aye, well…’
he stops. Starts the sentence again. ‘I’ll have to see
how this medicine works out. Life’s good fun. You must never forget it’s
good fun as well. We used to say in Scotland, “We never died a winter yet.” Winter
comes and winter goes and it never killed us before, so let’s get on with it.’
Billy smiles at the thought of this. It’s time for
him to go. He needs to eat and rest. But as Pamela
moves to help him up from his chair he says he’ll try it himself.
He manages it. Perhaps the medication is sorting itself out?
‘We live in hope,’ he says. We do.
Billy Connolly & Me: A Celebration is on Tuesday at 9pm on ITV.
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Billy Connolly was in a restaurant with his daughter Daisy the other night.
It was the sort of Australian steakhouse that serves deep-fried onions cut in two to look like
flowers.
Daisy, 33, who has learning difficulties so continues to live with Billy and
his wife Pamela Stephenson, loves the restaurant.
Billy doesn’t.
‘It’s terrible. I have to sit there and pretend I’m enjoying myself,’ he says with
a merriment about his face that suggests he doesn’t have to pretend
too hard.
Billy Connolly’s comedic legacy will be celebrated in a new
programme Billy Connolly & Me: A Celebration
Billy adores his five grown-up children. So much so, you sense he’d pluck every hair
from his distinctive lion’s mane of flowing locks to see them happy.
‘So I’m sitting there and I got a pain in my left side,’ he says.
‘I thought, “I’m not going to be able to get up from here and Daisy can’t help me.” So I was working out a
way to say to the waiter, “Excuse me, can you help me out of the seat?” I
was concerned. It was a thing that had never arisen in my life before.
RELATED ARTICLES
Previous
1
2
Next
She’s a little girl, Posh, not a commodity: SARAH VINE
has a… ‘It was a hard thing for me to digest’: Alexis
Bledel admits…
Princess Diana’s niece Lady Kitty Spencer looks
worse for…
Share this article
Share
‘It was just one of those moments. In the end I found the table
was fixed to the floor so I could use it to pull on. But it was a question I’d
never asked before. I was wondering what kind of words I should put it in. “Should I tell him I’ve got Parkinson’s or will I just ask him to help me?”‘
Billy was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, a progressive neurological
disorder that affects the nervous system, three-and-a-half years ago.
Last year, when we met in New York to mark a National Television Awards Special Recognition Award for his 50 brilliant years in comedy, film, music and TV, the effects of this
cruel disease were barely noticeable.
Billy and his wife Pamela Stephenson grace the cover of this
week’s weekend magazine
Today his left side shakes uncontrollably. Pamela has come with him to
the hotel in which we meet, which is a few
blocks from their home in Florida where they moved four months ago.
We’re here to discuss this week’s ITV special, Billy Connolly & Me, to mark those five decades entertaining us.
The one-hour show features classic clips through the
years: Billy bursting onto the stage in Glasgow in the black leotard and the big banana boots that led to his
showbusiness break in 1975, Billy dancing naked around the
statue of Eros in Trafalgar Square for Comic Relief, Billy on a boat, a bike and
a bungee rope for his TV travelogues. Billy dazzling.
Electrifying. Full of vim.
The change has been swift. A week ago, he explains, he was put on some medication that’s ‘shaken me
up a bit.
This is actually the first medication I’ve been on. The specialist here in America kept me off it
until I got to a certain point and then she put me on it.
There’s a whole lot of shaking going on. It’s kind of weird,
this instability. The only time it stops is when I’m in bed and then I can’t roll over.’ He
pauses. Laughs. ‘I’m like a big log.’
Billy’s humour is a ridiculously contagious thing that’s kept
many of us laughing for most of our lives. He loves being
funny. As a wee boy he’d sit in puddles to make
people laugh. He’s now 74 but still likes nothing more than to plonk his bottom in the funny stuff of life.
‘I bought my kids a book at Christmas, The F***
It List: All The Things You Can Skip Before You Die,’ he says.
‘It’s the things you have on your bucket list but have
no intention of doing, like skydiving. I always wanted to skydive because I parachuted, but
I’m not going to do it now.
Billy and Pamela (pictured in 1990) met on the set of Not The Nine O’Clock News in 1979 and
married ten years later
‘A sense of humour is absolutely essential. It’s the only thing that gets you through.
Sometimes I get kind of dark about it. It’s because it’s forever,
you know. It’s not like having pneumonia and you’re going to
get better. You’re not going to get any better.
A Russian doctor said, “It’s incurable.” I said, “Hey, try, we have yet to find a cure.” Incurable is so static and terrible.
There’s no escape.
‘It’s the first thing I think about in the morning because
getting out of bed is quite hard. It’s a weird thing
because it stopped me playing the banjo and it stopped me smoking cigars.
‘It seems to creep up on everything I like and take it away from me.
It’s like being tested, “Cope with that, cope with life without your banjo. Now I’m going to make your hand shake so you can’t tie your fishing flies any more.”‘
In his darker moments does he ever think there’s a stage at
which he’d decide enough is enough as his old
friend Robin Williams, who also suffered with Parkinson’s, did three years ago?
Billy was deeply upset by his suicide. Robin was ‘a pal’ whom
he loved dearly.
Billy in his standup show ‘An Audience with Billy Connolly’ where he
entertained a host of celebrity fans
‘Asking waiters to help you out from the table is one of those stages,’ he says with an honesty that defines
this brilliant man. ‘It’s like saying to your wife, “Could you help me up from the chair?”‘ Which he’s done
upon discovering a chair is too low for him when he
arrives.
‘It’s weird. I’m trying to stay on the light side because
the dark side is unthinkable.’ Does he ever get angry?
‘Aye,’ he says. ‘I apologised to Pam yesterday.
I said, “I’ve been a bit gruff.” She said, “Oh, you’re OK.”
I just get fed up.’
Pamela and Billy met on the set of Not The Nine O’Clock News in 1979 and married ten years later.
She’s now an eminent clinical psychologist and bestselling
author, but mostly, I suspect, she worries about Billy.
She stopped him ‘going down with the ship’ with his heavy drinking when they first
fell in love and would move heaven and earth to be able to do
so now.
So much so that last year she decided they should leave
their home of ten years in New York for a warmer climate in Florida.
He likes nothing more than to spend his days ‘on the boat fishing’
or drawing.
‘This one doesn’t shake,’ he says, holding
up his right hand. ‘So I can draw. I’ve had exhibitions.
The other day I drew a half man, half frog. It’s lovely here, it makes me feel
good, plus when we moved it was winter in New York and I didn’t want to be sliding all over the sidewalk.
I’m not very good with balance. I walk like a drunk man. You have to take
that all into consideration. Pamela arranged it.’
Right now Pamela is off fetching him some tea and honey.
This morning she brought him breakfast in bed.
‘I’d already got up so I had to get back into
bed, so I had to get out twice just to be nice.’ He laughs fit to burst.
Again, it’s contagious. You just can’t help yourself around Billy.
Then he stops. Pauses. Reflects for a moment.
Billy receiving his CBE in 2003
‘It’s kind of drawn us together,’ he says. ‘I’m really dependent on her, you know physically, whereas I used to
be the strong guy. Which is kind of pleasant. It’s a pleasant thing to lose the strong
guy. You don’t need it. So it’s nicer.’
In the past, time spent apart seemed to be the glue that held the two
of them together. Billy has always been something of an island – a man who
likes to be alone. ‘I don’t really belong anywhere,’ he says.
‘I get along just fine on my own. Even in a crowd I sort
of find myself standing quiet, alone, observing. I don’t like people I know next to me in the dressing room before I go on stage.
‘My mind is away somewhere else. So I’d ask Pamela
not to come. She never understood it. She always
thinks it’s because of the groupies – she calls
them floozies. She’s off her head. It’s nonsense.
I don’t floozie.’ Did you ever? His eyes light up
like a paparazzi flashbulb.
‘That’s one of the great side dishes of showbusiness,’ he says.
‘To deny you enjoyed it would be a sin. It’s like saying you
feel nothing for your old girlfriends. I love them all.
I think very fondly of them all and I think of them
often.’
Hang on, Billy. Rewind. Were there lots of floozies?
‘Millions,’ he says. ‘It was lovely, smashing. Men lie to themselves with consummate ease.
They just say, “Oh, it doesn’t matter. It’s not the same thing.” I always remember the floozies as great fun. Although
I was drunk most of the time so I don’t think I was a great lover.’
The floozies stopped when he met Pamela. ‘She’s the real thing,’ he says.
‘It was good for me in so many ways. It was time to change what I was or go down with the ship and
she helped me by spotting I was in trouble. I didn’t think I was
at all.
‘What it did was drag me into the new world by having children again [Billy had two, Jamie and Cara, from his first marriage to Iris Pressagh and three, Scarlett, Amy and Daisy, with Pamela] and
having to face it. So I had to stop doing everything in order to have the energy to cope with these kids, and it turned out to be the best
thing that ever happened to me.’
Billy, born the youngest of two children in a tenement in Glasgow,
was four years old when his mother Mary upped and left the family home.
He and his sister Florence were bullied by two
aunts who raised them and, when his father
William returned from serving in the RAF in Burma, Billy
was physically and sexually abused by him too. Such is Billy’s way of
looking at life, he’s never really wallowed in self-pity.
Starring alongside Judi Dench in side Mrs Brown, Billy says that the actress
helped him relax over his success
‘There’s no need to be bitter about anything because
there are great examples all around you,’ he says.
‘I always remember going to my friends’ houses and how different the atmosphere was there.
So there was always hope… in the distance.’
Again he stops and thinks. ‘This Buddhist thing [Billy, who was raised a Catholic, explored Buddhism after meeting Pamela], this living in the moment
is very good for that. This is all there is.
The past doesn’t exist. You have to make it exist by thinking about
it. Moments are all created.’
These moments have, by any measure, been pretty extraordinary
even for a man gifted with an imagination as huge as Billy’s.
Take, for example, the ‘pals’ he’s made along the way:
legends such as Eric Clapton, Sir Elton John and Eric Idle, Prince Charles, Princess Anne, the Duchess of York.
‘Prince Charles is a nice bloke. He’s got a soul,’ he says.
‘Most of the royals I’ve met have been really nice.
I like toffs. It’s like meeting PG Wodehouse.
‘There was a doctor I knew in London who was a real toff.
He and I were having a cup of tea with friends and someone was saying something about the
working class or trade unions. The doctor said, “Don’t say that in front of Billy. He’ll box our ears and call us clots.” I
was helpless.’ Billy slips into a posh accent. ‘You clot.’ His eyes are wet with tears of laughter.
Billy says that a sense of humour is vital to get you through the darker times
‘I remember Fergie’s two girls Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice were
in our house in Los Angeles where we lived before moving to
New York. They were with my girls playing in the dressing-up box.
They both came into the room and said, “Look, we’re Princesses.”‘ He rolls his eyes in humour.
‘When I was working as a welder [Billy worked as an apprentice welder before taking up the banjo] I knew I was going to be something.
I just didn’t know what it was, but I fancied being a somebody.
I remember sitting on the propeller shaft looking up the Clyde and designing
my album sleeve. I didn’t even play the banjo then but I was
designing it in my head.’
When Billy decided upon the banjo instead of welding at the age of 23 his grandmother, one of the few
people who showed him love in his childhood, told him his head was ‘full
of daberties’. ‘Daberties were sort of stick-on tattoos that you licked and dabbed
on your hand. It was the most Scottish thing I’ve ever heard.
A daberty is nothing, so she meant my head was full
of nonsense, which of course it is.’
As ITV’s Billy Connolly & Me shows, it’s a nonsense that has brought joy to many from stars
such as Dame Judi Dench, David Tennant, and
Andy Murray to numerous everyday fans in the street.
His career, as he says, went ‘whoosh’ in 1975 when he told a bawdy joke
on BBC’s Parkinson chat show about a man who murdered his wife and buried her bottom-up so he’d
have somewhere to park his bike.
‘That was an incredible moment of my life,’
he says. ‘I knew when I did the show it was amazing.
I got to Heathrow the following morning to go back to Scotland and a Chinese guy
actually asked me for my autograph. I thought, “Holy s***”.
Then I got to Glasgow and everyone was clapping.
Can you imagine? It was like a James Stewart film. I liked
the fame. You’re a somebody. Loved.’
Billy is loved the world over. As interviews with fans on his ITV special show,
they know him everywhere from his native Glasgow to Timbuktu.
But it’s his enduring humility that makes him loved. Does he ever make ridiculous demands?
‘That’s a terrible trap to fall into,’ he says.
‘Apparently Elton does it.’ He says this fondly. Elton is,
of course, a dear pal. His eyes sparkle with humour as he warms to his theme.
‘He gets white roses with all the sharp bits, the thorns,
taken off. The American rock band Three Dog Night requested wheelchairs before a
gig because they were going to be so stoned when they arrived.
‘Harvey Goldsmith, the rock concert promoter, was going to
do a book of all the demands made by famous people because he saw all
the contracts, but nobody would give him permission. He’s a smashing guy.
He’s my Jewish brother. I like him.’
His eyes soften. ‘Aye, fame’s great but if you’re not careful you forget what your aim is in life
because you’re under such tremendous pressure. When I was about 40 I did this deal with
myself. I wrote down the things I wanted on a card and stuck it in my wallet.
‘Things like where you would like to live, how you would like
to live, what you would like to have. You have to
give it a good deal of thought before you write it down and then you leave
it sticking up so you can see it when you open your wallet.
You don’t read it but it’s there poking you in the forehead.
Remember, remember.’
He says he began ‘to relax a bit more’ after the success of Mrs Brown, the Oscar-nominated film about Queen Victoria’s relationship with her Scottish
servant in which he co-starred with Dame Judi Dench.
‘It was Judi Dench who sort of showed me.
It was a lovely moment. We were doing the eight-some reel.
She was opposite me in the circle and she was looking at
me. I thought, “F***, she fancies me. What am I going to do? Judi Dench fancies me.” Then the penny dropped.
She was acting. She was just being that person.
You have to give your own self and I did it after that.’ He pauses.
‘Where was I?’ Billy is beginning to tire.
He thinks. Continues. ‘I was looking at the card three weeks ago.
Everything worked, so things have worked out pretty well.
It happens because of the effort you put into
your work. It pays off.
‘Aye, moments are all created. They don’t just happen. I always like it when I walk on stage and they laugh when I say hello.’
Will he walk on stage again? ‘Aye, well…’
he stops. Starts the sentence again. ‘I’ll have to see
how this medicine works out. Life’s good fun. You must never forget it’s
good fun as well. We used to say in Scotland, “We never died a winter yet.” Winter
comes and winter goes and it never killed us before, so let’s get on with it.’
Billy smiles at the thought of this. It’s time for
him to go. He needs to eat and rest. But as Pamela
moves to help him up from his chair he says he’ll try it himself.
He manages it. Perhaps the medication is sorting itself out?
‘We live in hope,’ he says. We do.
Billy Connolly & Me: A Celebration is on Tuesday at 9pm on ITV.
Billy ConnollyRobin Williams
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